Sep 5, 2014

Best Office Jokes

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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. 
 


The business I work for had a dinner together with all family members. Before the first speech, the emcee gave the following announcement, “we kindly ask if you can please put all cell phones and children on vibrate.”


When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.


When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s
too busy.


When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s
only human.

When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being
firm.

When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s
on business.

When you have one too many drinks at a social, you’re a drunken bum.
When your boss does the same, he
appreciated women.

When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be
very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it ‘s because he’s overworked.






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